This story was written back in November 2000. We were innocent back then, and the world looked much rosier than it does now. Enjoy.
If we worked in radio, or TV, these collections of could be referred to as “bits.” But out here in the real world, they simple help pass the time, help us make something humorous out of an otherwise boring time.
Take our two main characters George and Mongrol, for example. They inevitably show up in almost all the stories, to add a bit of colorful wisdom and idiocy. George and Mongrol are modeled after Jay and me. I believe that they are caricatures of ourselves. Mongrol is this large very stupid man with a big heart. He loves George, but he also likes to eat people’s livers. In a modern day Frankenstenian tale, Mongrol sometimes gets out of control, and only George can control him. George is a notoriously greedy man who has a terrible sense of humor, and a lackluster view of life. He is a short, rat faced man, with tiny whiskers at the end of an otherwise normal moustache. Here is a typical George and Mongrol scenario:
Mongrol (while working for a failing dot com) got so fed up with his role as trained monkey one day, that he grabbed the human resources lady, knocked her down, and proceeded to eat her liver. All the office workers were shocked by this violent act, and quickly surrounded him to try and stop him. He was a crazy monster though, and no one could get him to stop. It was only after George came over, clapped his hands loudly and yelled at Mongrol that the carnage came to a stop. Typically, all George has to do is look at Mongrol for him to realize that he is doing something bad.
“Bad Mongrol!” says George.
“I ‘torry George… I ‘toopid… ‘toopid Mongrol,’ replies the remorseful giant.
As though nothing had happened, Mongrol returns to his cube, only to find a box of marshmallow peeps that someone from the office had left behind. Mongrol takes a yellow peep out of the box, looks at it with his sad puppy eyes and says to it, “no one like Mongrol. You like Mongrol peep. You my friend. You and George my friend. I love you.”
As a sad tear builds up in Mongrol’s eyes, he squeezes the peep and bites the head off.
George comes running over then to Mongrel and says to him, “Mongrol, what the hell are you doing? We gotta get the hell out of here! The HR lady has no liver, and the cops are on their way. Quick, let’s get out of here!”
George grabs Mongrol’s hand, and pulls him out of his chair. Not an easy thing to do since George is 105 pounds, and Mongrol is three times that. Mongrol gets up though, walks a few steps, then looks back at his bloodied box of remaining peeps.
“George, my peeps… Mongrol need peeps”
“Forget it Mongrol, I’ll get you some new ones. We got to get the hell out of here!”
“NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Mongrel whips his hand away from George, at the same time flinging the waifish body of George against a mini refrigerator.
If we worked in radio, or TV, these collections of could be referred to as “bits.” But out here in the real world, they simple help pass the time, help us make something humorous out of an otherwise boring time.
Take our two main characters George and Mongrol, for example. They inevitably show up in almost all the stories, to add a bit of colorful wisdom and idiocy. George and Mongrol are modeled after Jay and me. I believe that they are caricatures of ourselves. Mongrol is this large very stupid man with a big heart. He loves George, but he also likes to eat people’s livers. In a modern day Frankenstenian tale, Mongrol sometimes gets out of control, and only George can control him. George is a notoriously greedy man who has a terrible sense of humor, and a lackluster view of life. He is a short, rat faced man, with tiny whiskers at the end of an otherwise normal moustache. Here is a typical George and Mongrol scenario:
Mongrol (while working for a failing dot com) got so fed up with his role as trained monkey one day, that he grabbed the human resources lady, knocked her down, and proceeded to eat her liver. All the office workers were shocked by this violent act, and quickly surrounded him to try and stop him. He was a crazy monster though, and no one could get him to stop. It was only after George came over, clapped his hands loudly and yelled at Mongrol that the carnage came to a stop. Typically, all George has to do is look at Mongrol for him to realize that he is doing something bad.
“Bad Mongrol!” says George.
“I ‘torry George… I ‘toopid… ‘toopid Mongrol,’ replies the remorseful giant.
As though nothing had happened, Mongrol returns to his cube, only to find a box of marshmallow peeps that someone from the office had left behind. Mongrol takes a yellow peep out of the box, looks at it with his sad puppy eyes and says to it, “no one like Mongrol. You like Mongrol peep. You my friend. You and George my friend. I love you.”
As a sad tear builds up in Mongrol’s eyes, he squeezes the peep and bites the head off.
George comes running over then to Mongrel and says to him, “Mongrol, what the hell are you doing? We gotta get the hell out of here! The HR lady has no liver, and the cops are on their way. Quick, let’s get out of here!”
George grabs Mongrol’s hand, and pulls him out of his chair. Not an easy thing to do since George is 105 pounds, and Mongrol is three times that. Mongrol gets up though, walks a few steps, then looks back at his bloodied box of remaining peeps.
“George, my peeps… Mongrol need peeps”
“Forget it Mongrol, I’ll get you some new ones. We got to get the hell out of here!”
“NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Mongrel whips his hand away from George, at the same time flinging the waifish body of George against a mini refrigerator.
posted by Tony at 1:31 PM
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